I should have been a teenage werewolf

When are my magical powers going to show up? I'm serious here. All my life I suspected by a certain age or with an unforeseeable accident like getting struck by lightning, these latent special powers would suddenly manifest themselves. But today, I speak to you as a flightless, x-ray visionless average Jane with absolutely no telekinetic abilities. I can't even move a paperclip with my mind. Pitiful. So, in an effort to cope with yet another set of childhood hopes dashed and crushed into the ground with reality's bootheel, here's a top ten list of my not so special special powers.

1. The power to fall asleep nearly anywhere for extended periods of time.
2. The power to eat massive quantities of poutine that would make most men vomit and die.
3. The power to make my eyeballs shake really, really fast.
4. The power of spontaneous dance.
5. The power to do multiple cartwheels and end in a roundoff. Damn!
6. The power to forget incredibly embarassing moments. I droped my pants at IHOP?
7. The power to have an amazing day and even better night on only $30.
8, The power of greyskull
9. The power to always work towards something and stay positive.
10. The power to (and it should be noted that this is my greatest weakness too) find a wonderful and likeable quality in nearly everyone I meet.

I feel better already.