Socially Awkward Masochism: Episode 1

Lately I've been a real weirdo at parties. Truth is, I'm not a fan of large gatherings. Being around people who expect you to grease the social wheels with them can make me feel put-off. It doesn't happen all the time, I like meeting new people and making new friends, but certain party atmospheres mess with my mood alchemy and I become distantly aware of my stupidity, but unable to stop it. This odd compulsion reminds me of Marco Stanley Fogg, the main character in Moon Palace who chooses not to help himself survive and leave his life to fate just to see what happens when his world stops being beyond his control.

Example 1
Stealing Time Octoberfest Party, 7:15 pm. Me talking to a senior writer in a big agency's medical division. Her name could be Lindsay.
Lindsay: Aren't those mini crepes delicious?
Me overlooking the obvious non-octoberfest food conversation starter: yeah.
Lindsay: So where are you from?
Me: Cundari.
Lindsay: Cundari, what do you do there?
Me avoiding the polite response and not asking her what she does: junior writer.
First awkward pause.
Lindsay: I'm a senior writer at big agency medical.
Me: cool.
Lindsay: How long have you been at Cundari?
Me: Not sure.
Awkward pause.
Lindsay recovers: Where did you go to school?
Me: Humber Copywriting.
Lindsay: Me too!
Another awkward pause with direct eye contact and several blinks. She no doubt suspects I am employed because of some equal rights initiative that integrates mentally deficient people into the workforce.
Me in a moment of sanity realizes that I'm sabotaging myself: cool. Did you have Jane Bongers?
Mutual laugh at the program co-ordinators funny last name.
Me half to self: Bongers.
Lindsay: I did, but she was teaching then. When did you do the program?
Me: Two years ago.
Lindsay: So you're around 22?
Me: Nope. 26.
Another long pause.
Lindsay reaching: So have you seen Inglorious Basterds? I'm going tomorrow.
Me : Yeah, I like this one Nazi a lot.
Substantially awkward pause.
Lindsay: I've got to go throw out my napkin.
Scene